Sent by a reader and this happened in Florida because of course it did.
Jakiela Shagale Mobley certainly sounds like someone that would a) have a lengthy criminal record and b) assault her own mother with grits. I certainly hope they were not instant grits.
Her defense was that her mama hit herself in the face with grits but the cops weren’t buying that story.
“Due to the victim having grits on her face which match the ones on the counter, and the unlikelihood of the victim hitting herself in the face with grits, I placed the defendant under arrest for [battery] and transported her to the Marion County Jail.”
They matched the grits on the counter? Did they do on-the-spot forensic analysis for comparison? That is some solid police work.
You couldn’t pay me enough to respond to calls like this all day.
I think any sensible cop would code this one as NHI (No Humans Involved).